Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Happy 2015

Well, my dears,  it is the new year. May all of you have a beautiful journey the next twelve months. Let's meet back here next year and discuss where we've been.

It has been my custom to join in the practice of dedicating each  year to a special word.  Sparkle, Kindness, Beautiful Life, Creativity... Authenticity a few times,  Gratitude, thank you very much. 

Those are all good choices, and I'd be wise to select one again and try even harder to live up to it. .

But this year my word sings in my head and plays out in my mind. Order, Purpose, Planning, Focus, Organization.  Slow, but Loving. A method to my madness.

My word for 2015 will be CLARITY.

I hope to bring myself and to gently assist (if they so choose ) everyone I love into focus by not being so scattered, by eliminating and concentrating... doing all those things that being done will bring a sharper, tastier, more magical and beautiful life... but this time I'm clear that I can't stay hectic,  won't be successful much of the time,  will definitely need to/have to take some time to ponder and heal...

Have a wonderful, magical,  clear and bright New Year...

Oh, did I tell you that  Mom bought me a super new camera?  I'll be experimenting this year with some new, CLEAR, images... so stay  tuned.

Earlier This Year

After Mom's 90th birthday this summer, she lost a tooth... she went to the dentist and had it pulled after a portion broke ...

Amazingly, she found this card and  some cash underneath her pillow ... Dunno why she says it was from me because my money is on the real Tooth Fairy!!!

Her real middle name isn't Jean,but she pretended all through school it was... guess the fairy honors wishes of all kinds.

Tonight when I was cleaning, I found this card as a bookmark in one of her favorite cookbooks...

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Christmas Goodies

Which way did it go? I often think of that cartoon character who used to say that over and over... Who was that? Hmmmm....... I'm thinking it. Christmas 2014! Wow. That was fast but lovely. We plan to leave the holiday decorations up through January because we didn't really see a lot during December! Most didn't get put out anyway... But kind of like the Whos down in Whoville, "It came without boxes. It came without bows.. It came without tinsel and tags..." However that goes, I love it so much...

This kitty belongs to Jane Treacy on QVC. Cute? Ticked off, actually. I think.

I have no plans for New Year's Eve or New Year. I usually try to fix shrimp... Kind of a family tradition that I started when I moved in with Mom. She likes oysters, so I'm hoping to get her a carton. Not me....

Well, Happy Monday. Have a good week.

 

 

 

 

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Sounds in the Night...

I once could fall asleep anywhere... Any time. I've been known to sleep in bathtubs, make a bed on marble hospital floors, lie in dreams in the parking lot of malls... Just about anywhere. Call it the sleep of the innocent... Or the trusting...or something other than now. If I had a phone call in the night, I could chat lively, hang up, and turn over and go right back to dreamland. No more.


I bought a Daybed for Mom's dining room during her hospital stay. The idea was for her to sleep on it and be near the room I'd taken as my own here at her house. However, the new bed is too tall, too hard, too... foreign in nature. She was yearning for her own little, lumpy mattress. The bathroom is so near her bedroom. So I took the new Daybed because it is upstairs, nearer to her. There is sooo much more going on ip here. I'm right square in front of a west window... I see more lights, hear more old house sounds, experience the winds, rains, howlings of Missouri winter, which has been warm and eerie. If I drift off a bit, any sound brings me awake. Tonight the wind and rains slash at my window... The furnace register beneath my bed taunts me. I'm hot... Sheet only. I'm frozen! Grab the fur throw...

 
We had a wonderful Christmas. Mom felt very well, and My son was amazing, as always. Today he's ill with the flu or something. I worry that it's that terrible cellulitis he gets at times. Worry. I never used to worry. I couldn't even. I saw no point. I used to tell my mom and grandmother, veteran worrywarts, "Worry changes nothing, indicates something "less-than" in the person who stews and frets." ..... Oh, well... I agree with my long-ago self, but I do the mental mind crushing anyway. I have concluded worrying slows the clock, drags the living to a menacing halt... It sure makes sleepless nights such as this much, much longer. The better to hear things with, my dears. The better to wonder 
why nerves in my feet never came back to life and pain free health after I let them swell and hurt 
waiting for Mom in the hospital. The better to stew over my son. The better to watch my mom in my mind's memory-eye as she crashed to the ground on Thanksgiving.


Perchance I'll become more accustomed up here. Nothing stays the same. But often I'm not happy with the changes either... I think the best changes are the ones we plan for, the alterations and milestone markers we make happen for ourselves, rather than the ones that just unfold willy nilly upon us. My photo here of Mom on Christmas is so sweet. She loves Whitman chocolates, and my son found a mammoth box! You will see no pictures of me on Christmas. I resemble that character on Frozen... That Olaf creature... Without sleep... Or peace... Not pretty.


Ha ha.... In case you were at all missing my posts, this should fix you. In summary. A grateful, 
blessed Christmas. So much to be thankful for. Just sleepy blogging... And in dire need of my makeup.... (Which is all the way down four whole steps to my other world)..... Which I complained about when I was down there, I believe
 


Tick tock... My window to the wind..



Hmmmmmmm. Do I think I need a glass of ice water? Or a snack? It's right around this corner...


Doesn't she look pretty in her new dress? I curled her hair on Christmas morning...


Good night.....

Monday, December 22, 2014

Is This the Week?

Hello! Great news!  Mom is home in time for Christmas.  As I look around, the boxes are unwrapped, and the decorations are mostly still in the closet. ..  However,  it is so nice to be home with no hospital visits to make.  25 days. ..  and everyone has been so incredibly kind...

It's a huge adjustment for her, but she's doing better every day.

I've started cleaning and putting away so  many things just plopped where they dropped... who did that, I wonder? Oh, yeah. Moī....

With any luck, I'll find several friends and family to help drink mugs of spiced coffee...

Merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Where is Christmas?

Outside the warmed wind rattles and scratches against the windows. I can't decide if I'm warm or chilly here in bed beside the cozy space heater. Fingers crossed. Mom may come home on Sunday. I need to work, to prepare, to gather in... But I usually just sleep, shower, go in and sit with her. Probably big changes ahead in the way we negotiate the house. I think it's too soon to really know.
My goal... A warm, safe, quiet Christmas at home with us and anyone else who wanders in. I'm probably not wrapping gifts. What's done was finished before Thanksgiving. None of that really means Christmas. When I was a senior, my family spent the holidays in Quincy Blessing Hospital with my critically ill grandfather. On Christmas Eve night my dad drove through town to look at lights. What I remember are the snippets of families beside the trees, I could glimpse tables alight with candles and faces glowing in the light of those well-lit, C7-bulb trees. At 17, with sixteen happier past holidays, I felt so sad. But it was still Christmas. My Mom and Dad knew where to find it, and I know just where to look, as well.


The dawn today has that famous tint of snow. My car, covered in snow, shouts that it is, indeed, Christmas. I think the weather will bluster and winter forth until noon. Then I still hope to go in to see Mom. Long days in the hospital. Almost ready to be back home again.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Just a little note...

Things are really improving here. Mom continues to feel a little better every day or so. We think and hope she may be home before Christmas. Nothing prepares a person for the shift in life that comes with sudden illnesses and hospital stays. Life activities that seemed important just.... weren't.

 

We have beautiful family and friends to help us, and the staff members at the hospital have been wonderful.

Thank you for all your kind wishes and prayers. I've been dipping into your Christmas festivities as you post. Lots of holiday beauty and joy going around Blogland.

 

Peace and love to all of you...

 

 

Friday, December 5, 2014

Why I like to clean, even though you might not suspect that...

There are certain household chores that I love, some are okay, and a precious few... Well, I don't like those at all. I must preface all this with the little disclaimer... My house is a rip roaring mess! It's a havoc of leaving out a Turkey or two for Thanksgiving proper, fixing up a few places for the holidays, and Running in and out since Mama got hurt.

K

 

In the west window of the dining room, my new $30 white tree with glowing multicolor rosettes of light waits for tis first ornament... But from a distance, the tree looks beautiful, nodding to me there throughout the early night when I set out to take a turn at Mama's bedside in the hospital. I love cleaning up and decorating for holidays.

Last night I spent at home, victim to my painful legs and feet, swollen from a batch of "feet-hanging-down" nights in the ICU. Around midnight, the fridge called it to me, so I spent a happy hour cleaning its content... Some dishes prepared for out little feast that didn't happen made me very sad. Others, like leftover pumpkin pie from our celebration on Sunday made me smile. I've always loved to clean after parties and family celebrations... It's like putting it all to bed with happy thoughts of all the guests that were there.

My mind wanders... I know. I need to be careful because it's too little to be out wandering alone! I think of the famous Poem about the tuft of daffodils. I think about how tough my mother is, and how fragile. I consider the kindness of everyone and the sacrifices of a life of service spent in the field of nursing.

Tonight two of my students from years gone by are tending both to my mother and to me. They've brought me a weird little cot to stretch out and elevate these veins.. They've tended my mother and reassured her. At times they've made important decisions to ease her misery. Imagine an old, tired back. Now imagine that it is almost entirely covered in bruises. There you have my poor little Mama.... So miserable.

 

I'm not going to preach at any of us. We all know the fragility and preciousness of our lives and relationships. We've all squandered that stuff that life is made of.... A little or a lot. Have a lovely weekend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thursday, December 4, 2014

A Brief Message of Our Status

We are in the hospital.

On Thanksgiving, right after I fixed a little lunch of Mama's favorite snacks, I said, "It's ready." She stood up to make a restroom break, lost her balance, and fell right before my horrified eyes. She fell so hard, hit her back on an ottoman, broke her glasses and was bleeding on the floor. I called 911. They made the call to go 50 miles to a Trauma Center.

She has two broken ribs, some broken bones in spine, and a hematoma on her back roughly the size of a beach ball. For a day or two it looked as if internal bleeding would require surgery, but it stopped. Had transfusions and had platelets.

Spent the weekend in ICU and surgical intensive care. Monday we were discharged to travel by ambulance to Local Swingbed (20 days moderate care) before we hope to come home. Ambulance took 9 hours to be available today, and the ride made her nauseated. I sent my son home. He has been her rock, the only person she would let lift her. Understandably, she doesn't want to fall again, and she cannot tolerate pressure on that poor, little back. He is patient, gentle, strong... A true gem.

I'm sitting by a beautiful window overlooking my home town. Mom is sleeping. The hospital staff has been overall excellent in both facilities. A couple of snafus, but mostly good, better, and great! My friends and sister/cousin, all of them, {@ } have been my constant supporters. They have visited, sat with me, called, texted, gifted, and prayed. From here I can go home often at all hours of day and night, too. Ready and hopeful for a fairly speedy recuperation! Prayers and positive good wishes will be treasured.

In the meantime and certainly so very important to me, I lost one of my dearest friends on Friday. I will forever miss her sparkle. Whenever you see a Full Moon, think of my dear Nellie. I heard she was waving at me and blowing a kiss the last time I talked to her daughters. How sweet can that memory be?

 

 

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Happy Thanksgiving!

To all my dear ones this Thanksgiving and beyond. As I read this following message, I realized its power. On every day, I'm very thankful... If only I give myself the mission to be certain I stop to think about it... Family, friends, faith, and many blessings from my past and present. I would never have believed my little blog would find its way into so many homes, and I would never have known so many wonderful people, if not for this shining sister/brotherhood of Blogland.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Thanksgiving Early

The weather, cooler, very blustery, and drizzled fog. Inside, we are enjoying our memory of a lovely Early Thanksgiving. We celebrated today because my son always goes to his father's side of the family on Thursday. Last year and this he has to work on Black Friday, so I opted to claim today instead of next Sunday when it seems everyone is pretty full of turkey! Loved it.
The following picture is true. I kept true to my convictions with a Harvest mantel while pushing upward with the Christmas festivities...... Kind of like the big malls who stock their Valentine candy before Santa has his milk and cookies.

May you cherish a lovely Thanksgiving... I'm thankful for my dear family, friends, @@@ loved ones, and blogland friends...

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Guess...

I'm indirectly involved in a gigantic project reveal!

So... What do you think these photos might be? Details coming right away... In the meantime, you are free to guess...

 

Saturday, November 15, 2014

To the Turning...

I have been a passenger on the fast train through life the past few weeks...months... .? Years? Perhaps always. My son's boss believes in crushing life, as he calls it... Jumping in and doing that next thing. Going everywhere, seizing one day after another. He's a really cool guy. He is also on the fast train. A different one with a himself as cruise director!

But mine is different. I think half the time or more I'm snoozing at the observation deck window, face pressed against cold glass... Trying to recall the landscapes I've seen, dreaming about future glorious 
sights, No doubt missing what's there outside the crystal glass of now... 



I'm happy to report Mama is a little better. This was a vicious cold or virus, and she has really been feeling rotten. But think her cough is less, and she feels somewhat perkier.


I feel restless and lazy simultaneously... Those two forces usually don't.... Or shouldn't collide, but when they do descend like this, it's hard to do anything except make huge messes... Restless: I tear into a closet or stack the dining room table full of holiday decor... Lazy: I drag a cozy fur throw over my shoulders, pour another cup of pumpkin coffee, and lose the rest of the day... Not a pretty combination... ( or a popular one).


Good to consider... Looking forward to a nice family lunch tomorrow----- Shrimp Scampi and cocoanut Shrimp. Tossed garden green salad with pear slices, toasted pecans, and dried cranberries. Steamed cauliflower steaks with Paleo cream sauce. Bacon and broccoli roast...



We had major flurries today. Not really the two to three inches they forecast, but dreary, blustery, whitened skies and blasts of snow and sleet against the windows. I loved it. Mama did not.
Have a lovely week. Send good thoughts, if you will, to a dear friend of mine, who could use a prayer...


Thursday, November 6, 2014

Frost Moon... Musing with the Moonbeams

So, my friend Tessa From HERE THERE BE MUSING told me this was the frost moon... I love the names given to each full moon! They are just that personal to me. The time change sees me getting up at five... I was a six o'clock riser for several years now, and retirement really hasn't added a lot of snooze in time... Unless you count a nap in the smack middle of the day! However, I was clambering out of bed when I looked out the window at that huge setting moon! "Hello, Beautiful!" I nearly screamed it. I certainly told the moon hello right out loud! I tried to call my son, but his wavelength wasn't hearing the phone right then. So I grabbed a picture through my window and sent a text!

 

In about four minutes the clouds actually skittered over the surface, and the day was pretty cloudy off and on. Mama has been fighting a cold she must have gathered as a Trick or Treat. It's better, I think. She has grown tired of my ever-constant perscription of Vicks Vapor Rub. Oh, how I swear by that stuff... I apologize to my friends and family. I'm kind of an advocate to it just as my ninety-seven year old neighbor in Macon during the seventies was an advocate of 'kerosene' on everything. His old voice was cracked and hoarse, and his eyesight was failing. He put drops of kerosene in his eyes (!), and he brushed his teeth with a toothbrush soaked in it. Hmmm... My Sherlock tells me there could be some message to that, but he was a neat old man. He and I were a pair. I once called his son to come help. I had overheard lots of wild splashing through the old man's window to the bathroom. Then... Repeated screams and garbled sounds. Yep. That old bird was taking a bath and just singing his heart out.


His son didn't think too much of me really. The elderly neighbor used to walk to the corner and back with two canes every clear day. Sometimes he made his way to my porch for a doughnut. Yep. Diabetic, for sure. One day he came to me in tears. He swore to me his kids had changed his locks. He had me prove it because he insisted the key to his front door had a bread wrapper tie twisted around it.. Nope. No, sir. That key did not fit. I was pretty mad at those kids. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. My daddy had shown me how to take a door off at the hinges. I proceeded to assist that old neighbor by removing his screen door and his heavy back door. I recall another neighbor stopping to inform me that I must be nuts. But dear, elderly, God rest his soul, Mr. Neighbor... He though I was a hero! That's until at the last possible moment he shoved a skinny fist deeper in his old coat pocket. "Oh, nooooo. Lookee here!" Yep. There was yet another key with a bread wrapper twistie tie... Now, my daddy had not yet educated me in the process to rehang that door, and the neighbor was still not having any part of it, so I again called that son.


His son didn't think too much of me really. No good reason that I can think of. Do you think?

I'm going to regroup my thoughts this cold, frost moon. It was more than fun to remember that olden neighbor back when I was in my twenties... Every time I "fanatic" obsess about Vicks and get those looks, I remember him... Although I do not wrap twisty ties around keys or sip kerosene... Or sing in the tub.


Tonight's moonrise was brief and spectacular. I have a little pinchy-nerve issue with my lower back, so I didn't get to go outside to take the pictures of my dreams. Just snapped this one from Mom's kitchen. That headlight-looking-beautiful-thing Through the window is the moon. She was there for long enough that I texted my son and phoned a fellow moon lover to go look, go look! .... Then clouds covered that silvery-beautiful face once more.


 

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Will I Ever Learn? .............no.

Do you measure? I mean, when you decide to purchase something, move furniture, relocate pictures, transfer china... If you see a purse that's beautiful on eBay, do you notice it's a bag for Barbie? Have you ever planned to serve green peas in a Johnson Brothers Strawberry Faire bowl only to unwrap a butter plate? Well. I don't. I have often decided to measure, to grow up and fly right... But if you saw this pretty chair and ottoman at an awesome price for sale by a dear friend..
 
...wouldn't you think it might be the perfect cozy chair in your bedroom corner? It's a fabric I adore.Dark floral... I had two lovely rockers like this... It's that ottoman/cozy chair style I love. My
son and I once scored a set of two of these when he was a teen... Such happy times watching movie marathons, snoozing all weekend...
But... It's kind of like that joke, "Which is bigger? Mrs. Bigger? Or Mrs. Bigger's baby?" Of course, a mom is larger, right? Um, no. The baby is just a little Bigger.... Hahahahaha! That chair requires a re-do of my room, at the very least. My son manhandled it home, in, and to the spot I reserved. Nope. Not on a bet.
However, I will pull a Minnie Samantha... My gramma could find a way to stash a fold-out couch in a phone booth. I've seen her shuffle furniture and fit in yet another china cabinet, table, plate rack, recliner, or framed picture... I WILL find a way to fit this chair in my room! It looks amazingly comfy...
For now, just enjoy what's left of the beauty of fall. I took these pretty tree pictures at my son's
doctor's office. He had three visits one week apart to fight off a really persistent virus. Happy to report my son is much better! Love the show of color. Little. Great! Gorgeous! My sister/cousin tells me the leaves fell off yesterday! Sad face.







Enjoy your Halloween week!

*update.  It's 1:35 a.m., and I finally wiggled the big chair in... Not cleaned up yet. Wishing for a big dumpster. I can't get to the light, the bathroom, or the bed... Chair is comfy,..... but only ...with some pillows. I am suffering buyer's remorse...  Mom will hate it. I solemnly promise not to buy anything larger than my space again! I need a good fairy....


Sunday, October 19, 2014

Oooh!


Its hollow eyed magic follows me, October's muse, so very beautiful. Each year I think the Autumn gets more beautiful than the one before. Slanted sunbeams, chilled nights, frost breathing down our necks in forecasts yet to come. I sometimes think I'm dreaming through the year when I imagine the beauty that is fall. Surely one season cannot outdo all the rest in spectacular climate, color, aura, and
magic? Oh, but it does... I love wintry sparkle, spring's welcome green, summer's abundance... But
I'm enchanted when the leaves turn, dance on the wind, and mound up in the yard. The dawns and
twilights intensify, leaving me in total wonder.

The house is filled with little bits of harvest finery. I confess I began in late August, so Mom is really beginning to tire of my golds, coppers, pumpkins and leaves. Decorations take up a lot of space in our home. I kind of know I have too many, but... It's just something I enjoy. 
 

We've had so much rain lately..  Just day after day of heavy, ropy rain, chilled and grey. You must know me by now, so the idea of loving that kind of a day is not foreign to you. It's so very different not to get up every day and go out into the elements as I head in to teach..  I feel as if I need to cling to the seasons even more because these kinds of mornings and late afternoons can easily slip by as I work indoors more and more.

My son scored a big box of pumpkin Keurig coffee and not one, not two, but three big bottles of Pumpkin creamer! Each morning I slip upstairs and have a Halloween cup full of my own particular witch's brew...










This incredible photo of my grandfather's barn was captured on my way to school a few years ago. It made me late and drew disfavor from an unkind woman supervisor, but I do not regret the few moments it took to record the halo of dawn cresting behind that old, dear, dilapidated building. If I won the lottery, I would give half to my son and fix up that barn to its former dignity with the other half.... Hoping to have more than enough! But, as they say, you can't win if you don't play! So I'm not going to win any lotteries. 


What beauties lie in your particular parts of the world? I wish you a good week with time to stop and enjoy the magic.


Happy Fall!