There are certain household chores that I love, some are okay, and a precious few... Well, I don't like those at all. I must preface all this with the little disclaimer... My house is a rip roaring mess! It's a havoc of leaving out a Turkey or two for Thanksgiving proper, fixing up a few places for the holidays, and Running in and out since Mama got hurt.
In the west window of the dining room, my new $30 white tree with glowing multicolor rosettes of light waits for tis first ornament... But from a distance, the tree looks beautiful, nodding to me there throughout the early night when I set out to take a turn at Mama's bedside in the hospital. I love cleaning up and decorating for holidays.
Last night I spent at home, victim to my painful legs and feet, swollen from a batch of "feet-hanging-down" nights in the ICU. Around midnight, the fridge called it to me, so I spent a happy hour cleaning its content... Some dishes prepared for out little feast that didn't happen made me very sad. Others, like leftover pumpkin pie from our celebration on Sunday made me smile. I've always loved to clean after parties and family celebrations... It's like putting it all to bed with happy thoughts of all the guests that were there.
My mind wanders... I know. I need to be careful because it's too little to be out wandering alone! I think of the famous Poem about the tuft of daffodils. I think about how tough my mother is, and how fragile. I consider the kindness of everyone and the sacrifices of a life of service spent in the field of nursing.
Tonight two of my students from years gone by are tending both to my mother and to me. They've brought me a weird little cot to stretch out and elevate these veins.. They've tended my mother and reassured her. At times they've made important decisions to ease her misery. Imagine an old, tired back. Now imagine that it is almost entirely covered in bruises. There you have my poor little Mama.... So miserable.
I'm not going to preach at any of us. We all know the fragility and preciousness of our lives and relationships. We've all squandered that stuff that life is made of.... A little or a lot. Have a lovely weekend.