Monday, February 1, 2016

First of February

It doesn't seem like a month has gone from this unbelievable year. I don't really have an update, and as I have said before, it would be wrong today from yesterday. Friday night Mom was awesome, her old self at times, but Saturday and Sunday were more cautious, more sleepy.

I do not know what to think about anything actually. I feel kind of isolated and cliff dwelling, chilled and not too confident, especially for me. I do rather feel as if I have been walking with the wolves, both in my imaginations and truly. Coyotes and wolves regularly howl all night around my house. It is a lonesome, yet exciting sound, the chills of my childhood rippling down my back. I long ago in another lifetime had a little dog who barked all night... unless he heard the coyotes and wolves. Then... no sir. His little yap was zipped dead silent. Right now I feel just like that little dog.

I have a lot to do today. I have supplies coming from all parts of the internet to help me get ready to bring Mom home. I doubt what I really need is available on Amazon.

This is appropriately Leap Year, The unseasonable springlike weather may screech to a bitterly cold halt this week. Perhaps Mom will be here by the weekend. Have you ever heard of someone coming home by ambulance? Doesn't that seem a bit downside up? Yeah, welcome to my brain, shaken, not stirred. My true nature is to look at everything as a challenge and to jump in and believe we can swim. My true nature IS to call the wolves myself. And I cannot shake the idea that they are on the way . I feel good about this decision. Scared in an excited, positive way. My very wise son sent me a text in the dark hours after Mom's stroke that reminded me that all of life is a test, and if we fail, we learn. And if we fail completely and do not make it through after all our struggling and never giving up, ....... we deserve the rest. Looks like I am not the only one in this family who walks with the wolves. 


Latane Barton said...

I feel so for you. Life just 'ain't' easy is it? My prayers for you and your Mom during this tough time. Hugs.

Nancy's Notes said...

I'm so very sorry your mom has to come home in an ambulance. My heart goes out to you. You are right, we can't give up. My husband just went to the hospital in an ambulance after 3rd stroke 4 weeks ago. His first was when he was only 57! Oh my, your son is right! Life is a test.

Take care of you too, Gayla.


wendy said...

I, like you cannot believe January has come and gone. Prayers to you and your mother and family during this time.