Saturday, April 25, 2015

Just a Few Thoughts

It has nearly been two years for me since I was a teacher, my 37-year choice of career. I am incredibly grateful the situations led me to retirement and allowed me the freedom to step up to the calling of caregiving. Because of my mother's fall and decline in health, I think I would have had to quit at Thanksgiving this year if I hadn't already. My world is full of preparations, thoughts, and projects. However, I have lately been dreaming of the classroom. Sometimes in my dream I am aware I am leaving the profession, and I am crying in the actual dream. That door is shut. For age, health, and many good reasons, I'm done with teaching. I have zero desire to write lessons or other related choices. No substituting for me. I loved having my classroom and my students... Nothing more and definitely nothing less...


But just for fun I thought I'd make a list of what I miss and what I don't.... It's just for fun... I'd like to dream of something new, something fun, something positive... Maybe setting it all out will "put it to bed."

What I Miss!

Hitting the road in the early sun, feeling as if I'm a part of the big picture.

Crossing paths with nearly 100 other humans every day... Laughing, interacting, listening in on life as it unfolds.

Constantly adjusting, presenting, evaluating how to share and teach the miracle of writing, literature, or creativity.

Looking forward to weekends and holidays...spilling forth from the school with compadres also exhilarated with newfound freedom.

Looking for... And finding.... the "good" in everyone.

Back row on the far right... I'm still that same girl until I look in a mirror.

The happy positivity of youth...nailing my spirit to the world of hope.

Somewhere to wear my sweaters, my jewelry, my stuff...

Being a vital part of plans for Prom, dates, new cars, and other teen things.



What I Don't Miss!

Looking in the eyes of some student who swears the computer "ate" his homework.

The feeling there is no time in the day to do what I need to do.

Needing more freedom and time to care for Mom.

There is no time for going in to the kitchen for a mid morning cup of coffee...

Never having two days in a row to decorate and prepare for holidays.

Listening to a student insist they just "happened" to have a "word for word" version of an essay off the internet. "Oh, no! I didn't copy/paste."

State Department nonsense that tried to dominate the time spent on actual teaching.

The stress and importance put on state testing.


I remind myself of a draft horse who balks a little at the door or gate of each new pasture or stall... As much as I love, love, love new things, fresh experiences, open horizons..., I do a lot of clinging to the past. I want to reduce analyzing and increase living each day.




Miss Merry said...

It has been almost 3 years since I left my job (about 5 years prior to my master plan) to care for my father and, after his death, my grandchildren. I had two free days this week and finally emptied my closets and dressers of my "work" clothes. It was freeing, but bittersweet to realize that I will never have that camaraderie again. What I miss most (don't laugh) is remembering funny, interesting or serious things that I saw the night before on television and being unable to share that memory with my co-workers. I miss the chit chat that used to drive me crazy!

Linda said...

I also spent 37 years in the classroom, but I "got out" almost 7 years ago. I think about teaching, but I don't really miss it. And I certainly do not miss the times I wanted to teach and couldn't because I had too much administrative work to do. And my kids had to be "ready" for THE TEST! What a nightmare for me and my students. Linda@Wetcreek Blog

NanaDiana said...

What a sweet Memory post. I do believe that things happen at the time they do for a reason. It is fun to look back at all we have done in the past that has put us where we are today. xo Diana

Tessa~ Here there be musing said...

Lists... What you miss and what you don't miss... Of a past life path.

Excellent way to see what your next path in life, can be. Because you will not be on this path, for the rest of your life.

So meanwhile, in among all your daily duties of this path, it seems wise to find out, what your next path will look like. In order to make it, _your_ choice.


Heaven's Walk said...

I know exactly how you feel about your teaching job, Gayla. After working in a high school guidance office for 21 yrs, to this day - I STILL miss the camaraderie of the students, the friendships that were created, helping them with college decisions and scholarship forms, writing passes and excuses for them to get in to class, listening to hilarious stories of how they spent their weekends, seeing a bunch of graduating seniors all sitting in a semi-circle around my desk as they shared graduation plans. I miss the job I had of being in charge of CA60s, report cards, progress reports, class descriptions, and the graduation ceremony. I was my own boss because of the number of years I had been there compared to the new, young counselors I worked for. They trusted me to know when to do what at the needed time. I truly loved working there. My husband also misses his teaching days. He retired after 31 yrs in the Industrial Education dept. We still hear from many ex-students which delight us to no end. Love all of these sweet memories...! :)

xoxo laurie