Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Turning One Thousand Wants.....into One Thousand Thanks.....

Okay, did you notice? I was up literally all night with the new blog look. I couldn't get the header, the letters, anything right! It would get worse.... And vanish... I would sit there with my laptop and get frustrated, exhausted... Decide to give up until morning.... But I couldn't. Sleep wouldn't come. So I turned back to the workd of cropping and saving and trying to sort out larger columns and weird instances of text overlapping.... I saw the sun race across the soybeans in front of Mom's home, and the cheerful birds began their chorus. At five o'clock I clicked save and slept like a wintery bear until nine thirty....

 As I went to bed, my grumpy, miserable, old shell promised herself she would make a list of things she wanted God to do.... I would make that list, I decided, as soon as I woke up..... Can you imagine how tired and stunted this old brain had to be to decide THAT was my course of action? While I know God delights in the prayers of his children, these swirling desires weren't all for his glory. No. They were for my comfort, for my needs, for me and mine... I can blame how tired I'd become if I wish because I was that kind of tired where a permanent whine etches a snurly frown on the face, mind, and spirit....

 But truthfully, today as I was reading Ann Voskamp's blog and getting ready to write on my thousand blessings, it struck me. I may ask God for each and every one of the requests I had in my heart last night this morning. But before that I want with all my heart to shower his ears with thanksgiving for oh, so abundant blessings, grace, and love. I'm aware that when we have an epiphany, it is too bad everyone else in our world hasn't had one, too..... Uncharacteristic cheer often meets with skepticism, resentment for yesterday's attitude, and an absence of enthusiasm for the joy I'm feeling. However, I am grateful for the clear chord I heards this afternoon. Count. Count my blessings. Be grateful. Give thanks. And make a different list.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Wedding Day....


Saturday I attended quite the wedding!  One of my dear senior darling young misses who just walked down the aisle to be a graduate barely one week ago...  walked down the aisle to wed her dream beau.  The two have gone together several years, and he is
a proud member of the United States Air Force.  The couple is moving to Okinawa, Japan, in a couple of weeks.  What a culture shock for a Missouri Heartland couple.  I love them both, and I have known the bride since the day she was born.  I was lucky enough to have taught her mother a "few" years ago, and they are family friends...  The move to Japan will be such a shock to the whole family...  I know the airlines make any place more accessible, but JAPAN?  It still seems a long way from the Heartland fields of green outside our windows...  I enjoy watching and reading PIONEER WOMAN on the Food Channel and her blog.  I gave Valle, the bride, a Pioneer Woman Cookbook, which will be fun for a new cook because Ree Drummond, the author, takes pictures every few minutes of each step.  I gave them a pretty, Americana tablecloth, and a note telling them that Pioneers traveled the the old West, and they were taking their lives to the Far East...  (clever, huh?)

The wedding was a summer delight with the prettiest orchid, blues, and creamy whites...  The cupcakes were simply divine, and the whole ambiance of the reception was summery, dreamy, and quite romantic...  I think about that young couple so often this weekend...  Memorial Day... patriotic!  My grandparents were married on Labor Day, and that holiday always will hold special memories of their happy long life together...  long after they are together in Heaven and I am still here thinking about their special bond..  My parents had that bond, and it was magical.  I wish for the same kind of love and strength for Valle and Ethan, two newlyweds who truly are starting the rest of their lives together...





I spent Memorial Day in a quiet, happy manner...  I slipped into the kitchen in the wee hours of the morning and put on a slow cooker of Mom's favorite soup...  a little surprise for when she got up...   Then I went back to bed and slept the fairy sleep of those who don't have school all summer...

We did a little cleaning, marveled at a small rain shower that happened in the midst of full sunshine...  wished for a bit more of the marvelous rain....  and watched Pawn Stars....

Enjoy your week.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Enjoy Memorial Day....

 Thinking of all the families gathered to celebrate.  We will be taking our wreaths and arrangements to the cemeteries in the morning....

When I was a little girl, we cut peonies and took them in a huge, granite dishpan...  We made fat, pink and white bouquets and were careful to secure wet paper towels and foil wrapped around each one's stem....  My dad always made a red rose basket for his mom and dad...

Memorial Day called for a cookout and signaled the official start to summer.

Have a safe and happy weekend!


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The green, green grass of home....

 Our hay is baled....  huge bales instead of the manageable small ones from my past.   Baling hay was always a July task...  but we are on a fast pace this year.   Send the rain, please Lord.

Taco salad for supper.  My son and a friend came to play spinner and help with a few chores.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Lake Effect


Today my dear friend suggested we meet at the lake for a visit, to talk about our Beth Moore James Bible study, and for prayer....  The weather was perfect...  God was so perfect, and we had a soul-soothing time.




She told me on the phone she was bringing us something to drink.  The icy orange surprise was absolutely fabulous!  She said it was even healthy!  I fell into the spell of kind of Dreamsicle slush ambrosia....  and look how cute! She made the whole thing into a party!

The healing words of the Bible study, cool lake air, and the acceptance and care of a friend were priceless!  She is a long-time friend, a lifelong angel sent as a gift from God....  When you can be yourself and still know someone loves you----  it is a gift.  I am blessed!  @@@@@@@@@@@@@--- you also know who you are!



Sunday, May 20, 2012

On success


If you have been following my blog for any of these five or six years...  (I have to stop and count, and I'm just not that into math right now...), you definitely know I haven't been up to my usual on number of posts, quality of posts...  anything really.  I have been lurking in blogland, reading all of you dear ones and trying to summon my lost mojo...

I think one thing has been my annual debate with retirement.  I really do think I can survive as a retired teacher at last...  I just can't afford it.  I think it's kind of shameful what I make after all these years.  I realize the economy tanked, they say...  But I look around and I see all kinds of people who do other jobs, and they look richer than I am.  I haven't ever even liked money...  but now a bit would be fun... 

So I'm going back to teaching for some of the right reasons and also because I cannot afford the insurance yet.  I'll teach more bright young minds to read, appreciate...  love Elie Wiesel...  and others.  I would miss it.  I know...
 This morning I decided to rebel.  I turned off my alarm and slept until 8:30.  Mom doesn't like late sleepers...  In her world that is late...  then when I finally dragged out of bed, I discovered that wonderful little woman on a walker had 1.  made her delicious meat loaf for lunch; 2.  made an exquisite zucchini casserole from one of the beautiful little green gems we bought from the Amish yesterday...3.  had set the table with her favorite strawberry Corelle dishes....(I usually like others better, so this was a little rebellious on her part)  4.  Had put together a Paula Deen Corn Casserole  4.  Had made her bed and put in a load of laundry...

What was there for me to do?  I can make the frozen biscuits, open the sliced peaches, and slice some of the beautiful tomatoes we also bought yesterday from a little Amish woman with at least three beautiful daughters...  So cute in her yard with their little headscarves...

For now I grabbed a an of diet coke and decided to be a cat for the day.  My son always says dogs work.  You have heard of a working dog...  Cats reign.  Cats look at you with a "I wish I could help/but I can't" flip of their tails...  and they just purr and snuggle...

So I made myself a decadent (not really) breakfast of 45 calorie toast, reduced fat cream cheese and Nutella...  Oh, I have heard from Practical Magic that magical people eat chocolate for breakfast...  That is me!
 I used this poem to close my speech Friday night...  It resonated with me, and I attributed it to Emerson although there is a great deal of debate.  I figured I'd say it was his...


“Success”
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;


I think I needed this poem more than anyone else there...  I have kind of forgotten how to laugh often.  I laugh, but I have been a bit of a grump lately.  I don't really like the feeling I'm getting from getting older.  I feel surprised by my reaction because as a younger woman I always thought I would be a darling older woman...  I haven't liked it much, and it has started to depress me more than it should.  I had a big talk with myself and with God...  and He said to look at the people who really do like me, to realize He really does love me...  and to appreciate all the students like the seniors this week who chose me to speak to them one last time... 

They wooed me to speak by coming en masse and telling me I was the only one who loved them all...  I don't think that's true, but it worked!  haha..  Teachers are suckers for stuff like that!
I think we children of the baby boom don't often accept the good that we are..  We were taught to negate that or feel very uppity...  not just by our moms, but by society...  It is hard to say, "I am beloved."  It feels wrong.
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;

It it so true...  I have been a fortunate little cookie not to have had that betrayal of false friends for most of my life...  But I can trace my posts, and I have to admit it has taken nearly a year, nine months for me to endure the betrayal of one false friend.  I hope my son gets back his self esteem, as well.  His lady love plucked herself from our midst overnight. It was one of the kind of "black widow" stings you hear about in movies. I regret losing the little boy, her son, my pretend grandson who called me Ma...  I miss him SO much.  One night they are here and hugging us and saying they love us SO much...  the next morning it's over, and she is on her way to another state and another man.  In her wake we decided to shake our weary heads and discover our finances were wrecked...  My son's, mine, my mom's....  It is a strange thing that I think women mourn lost loves, and men mourn being a "fool."  I have been a big grump about it for almost nine months...  enough time to "birth"  a new attitude, I'm thinking....

At any rate...  I can safely say we endured it...  and we are happy again.  My son has health issues that didn't start with her but certainly haven't been cured by a winter of spiraling depression...  So, as Beth Moore says, "You wouldn't waste a prayer on us."

To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch 


SusanFaye Begonia Max Image
or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.





So, I would really love to get some comments with this post.  Let me know something you feel has told you that YOU are the success you really are.  Go ahead.  Do it.  Brag on yourself.  It isn't wrong unless you never brag on anyone else...  Your little self has lived a long time with no praise from the one it needs to feel accepted by the most...  Please leave a comment about your own ways you have made the world a better place.  It might seem difficult, but do it please....  for me and the kitty kats...

Hugs.....

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Deliverance. . . .


Summer dawns...  Almost  I decided to make it a permanent summer and retire.  Finances actually spoke louder than the call of the classroom.....  Some years are hard, and this was such a year.  And writing and delivering that speech to hundreds of people was a weight on my spirit....

But it is vacation time!  and I have plans for amazing things.  See you tomorrow.



Friday, May 18, 2012

Happy Graduation!


Tonight my 28 seniors switch tassels and enter the world at large...  I made each of them a collage in Picasa and matted it with the quote I chose for them.  Their very best friends are around them in the pic....  So each is unique, just like they are.

I think my speech (I am delivering the commencement address) is about 35 minutes long --- give or take.   My hair is waiting out the dye timing while I blog...  Hope it doesn't fall out!

I will be glad when it is o.v.e.r!

p.s.   it is over!  summer has officially arrived.....

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day!

My son surprised us with a cute cupcake bouquet!  He cooked out on the grill, and it was a lovely day!

Friday, May 4, 2012

Bloom where you are planted

Morning Sunshine at Mickey D's.
It's funny I should miss posting when all I need to do is to actually sit here and write a little bit about the day. inventory, book orders, big state exams... school is almost out for the summer.... Go, Pink Floyd!  Alice Cooper!!!!  This time of year I hear his flaming guitar and angry drums.... ..... .... ..... . Schooooooools out for summah! Not yet. It just feels that way. Our yard had been full of beautiful flowering trees and bushes, but I haven't planted the annuals... Grass is shaggy... All the typical stress that accompanies summer. Some of my friends love it... I managed to wonder out loud if we might have an early fall since our spring came so early. That met with unhappiness from Mom. Hey, I cannot help it if pumpkins and corn shocks always call my name! So.... Have a lovely week. Keep cool, and keep your cool... Both of these admonitions I failed this weekend... Can anyone say total meltdown? Sometimes I get the spirit! I feel uplifted and motivated to attempt a hit of that old sparkle.... Now? Not so much. Somebody has got the blues. I count my blessings. I truly do. I realize the good in my life. I really have much.... But it's kinda like this.... What has got me down is real, too.... You go up to somebody bawling their eyes out because they are armless and leg less, and you tell them to snap out of it because they should think of so and so down the road who hasn't any arms and legs and who got his nose bit off in the dark... Do you really expect that original bawl baby to perk up, clap his hands, jump for joy.... And scream, "at least I got my nose!" Nope... It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to. ( but I really don't want to.... ). Hugs from someone hot and frumpy, down and grumpy.... Boogaloooo!