Saturday, September 22, 2007

A dream deferred

I should just delete these in silence, and believe me I have tried, but I simply cannot. I keep looking at them in pain, andI just can't delete them with never revealing them to anyone. You see, I was planning a little dinner party for my mother and daddy's wedding anniversary, which was only six days away when he died. I had these invitations I had made, had purchased little nests with birdies in them... had the guest list, the menu.... I was inviting their friends who were still married.... three elderly couples.... Ah, Robert Burns indeed, "The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray." Anyway, here they are... was going to use my blue and white flow blue that my dad bought me.... and just have a simple meal... Now I am selling the little nests and deleting these little notes, but I just wanted to share them with you because you would have loved them and you all actually inspired it. I'm not much of a planner (always afraid it won't come to pass...) but I have started being more excited with preparations and enjoying the process, the journey more... This unfortunate turn of events didn't stop me. I did enjoy the planning, and I feel sweetly satisfied that it would have been lovely and appreciated if things had gone well that week. And far, far more was lost than just this little party....

Now I will turn to other ideas and other plans. I think it is well to plan and build and imagine. But a person has to remember that sometimes a tragedy or a missed plane or a bout with the flu intervenes... I could never have felt this way a few years ago.. Perhaps I am finally growing up. My friends told me I never would. I never actually cared to.... I really rather doubt it, don't you?

Have a good weekend. I didn't mean this to be overly sad, but just to share something special that never got to be... I guess it falls into that category of what happens to a dream deferred.... I can say that in this instance, it just faded into a slightly misty wish with a hole in it...

Enjoy our beautiful fall. I'm going to the shop and then to a friend's house for supper. Fun!!!

7 comments:

Keriann said...

Oh gosh. I just found your beautiful blog today and my heart aches for your loss. It was a beautiful idea and I'm quite sure your parents would have been so thrilled with your plans.

My condolences.

Terri and Bob said...

You share everything you want, sad or not. The plans were full of love and joy... who would not want to share that with us? Much love to you to day!

IsabellaCloset said...

Gayla, I'm so sorry to read this post about your Parents anniversary party. God works in such sad & strange ways.. I'm sad for your pain & loss. Glad you shared this beautiful invitation (I do love it) with us and all your wonderful plans. Thank you. You, your Father, & Mother are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you all ~Mary~ :-}

Sweet Cottage Dreams said...

How sad and it is okay to share with us your story. Moreso, I am sad to hear of your father's passing. So sorry and my heart goes out to you. Losing someone that you love is painful enough, but losing them in a momentous time bears more pain.

hugs,

Becky

Becky K. said...

Missing your Daddy is a very special kind of "sad". Mine has been in heaven for almost 2 years and I am just beginning to process the pain of missing him.
My love and prayers are sent your way. Thanks for sharing. It would have been a great party!
Many blessings to you and your mother.
Becky K.

Becky K. said...

O.k., after reading further, I am going to have to link to your blog from mine... with your permission.
Your blog is so wonderful.

You are going into my favorites either way!

Hope to hear from you.
Becky K.

Julie said...

Makes a great case for the saying, "Make what you can of today, for tomorrow is unsure!" I think your party idea was wonderful!!